Contributing factors, if not excuses.

Hello non-existent readers!

I bet you’re wondering just about anything other than “hmm… where has geek gone with his eternal wit, charm and humor?”  But I’ll enlighten you anyway.  School.  School is where I’ve been.  6 hours of work then 6 hours of classes.  Exercise my body in the morning, do homework from 10 to 12.  Viva la vida.

Pretty cramped schedule, and you must assume that I hate it.  If you decided to assume anything.  The thing is, I don’t.  I just about went crazier than a shithouse rat yesterday, playing world of warcraft and having nothing to do.  I was excited to actually come into work today, even if my enthusiasm for class tonight (health) may be lacking.

Over the past two weeks I’ve been limiting my smoking for that class.  Made a cute lil contract and everything.  3 a day the first week, then 2 a day last week, now 1 a day.  And I could go crazy with a hatchet as tense as I feel.  I’m drinking my recovery drink out of a measuring cup.  A large one.  Picture below.

I haven’t written a damn thing, and with the onset of valentine’s day, I’m so lonely and pissy I could scream.  Class takes up a lot of the spare time, but I should really focus.  Except I can’t focus, thanks to nicotene withdrawl.  The Cat, and my new friend both don’t talk to me no more.  Maybe casual interaction, but as ever they have better things to do.  Makes you want to scream more.  And I think I pissed off hippy too.  It’s maybe not the best thing in the world, but I am so beat at the end of the day I don’t exactly feel like shooting pool until 1am every weekend.  The bills are getting paid, but dammit, I’m tired of doing this all alone.

 

End ramble.

Here’s a picture.

Yes to the obliques.

I was right, they are definitively getting there.  I’m happy.  Be warned, this is yet another rambling entry.

I’ve come up with an idea for calming myself down.  I’ve started doing the cliche-but-effective process of taking five deep breaths before I get myself too worked up.  Also, when I’m listening to the kind of music I grew up to, IE punk, I drive fast, drink way too much redbull and smoke way too many cigarettes.  I think if I keep only my most mellow music on my ipod, I may be able to keep my BP and heart rate down.

I signed my health contract to quit smoking and it’s driving me batshit.  I took 4 hours to write this, because I forgot about it.  I hate fast food.  That is all. ❤

 

The lack of posts on a sad day.

I have a friend who turned 22 today.  We used to be more than friends, but I effectively blew that out of the water a little over nine months ago.  She’s out with her friends tonight, and having fun celebrating.  I’m happy for her, but I miss her something terrible, to tell you the truth.  Wish I could be there with her today, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m adjusting to my increased 20lb weights and my obliques are getting more defined.  I eat protein bars for dinner and three eggs minimum for breakfast.  I’m nailing down each of my classes effectively, even when I have to admit I don’t know everything the Criminal Investigation guy is talking about.  I’m adjusting my sleep pattern so that I can function effectively, and I spend most of my free time that’s not devoted to homework, (very little of it isn’t) I’m watching films while managing finances while brushing my teeth because I work out six days a week and seem to be more motivated than humanly possible.  My writing has fallen to the side, but it’ll pick back up.

But it doesn’t mean a thing when I’m this damn lonely.

Maybe I’ll write a letter.

A rather lax Saturday.

Finished week seven of Power 90.  Feeling good, but I’d like to eradicate all body fat, or at least the majority.  My face and legs need to lose it before my abs and arms will however.

I’m watching Apollo 18, a horror flick I missed in theaters due to time constraints and generally “meh” reviews.  Last night I was actually able to stay up until 3am playing Resident Evil 5 and chatting with people.  I’m ashamed to say that my fitness goal is to look like my fictional hero, Chris Redfield.  He’s the go to guy for the fictional BSAA, and he’s built… as Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw put it… like a refrigerator with a chia pet on top of it. Picture below, more work to follow hopefully writing to follow.

A shadow over Geeks-mouth.

Okay, lame title.  But I’m alive!  And listening to my favorite story in the entire Lovecraft Mythos, The Shadow over Innsmouth.  It’s a fascinating story about a city by the sea swarmed with people who are half man, half something else.  Definitely look it up if you get the chance.

So my story is at a standstill right now due to the classload I’ve taken on.  Yes, it’s a lot for me it at least (18 credit hours) but my work and exercise regiments haven’t suffered, despite my lack of sleep.  Fridays I have off, and that’s good.  Takes a little stress off.  I’ll flip on my story and do the week’s homework I suppose.

Anthropology is fascinating, a field I’d really like to delve deeper in to.  Family Court on the other hand, is taught by a gentleman who thinks that we’re all in 6th grade. I got the “We’re adults now”  Speech and given a contract to sign and he hands us note pages with blanks to fill out.  I should probably say something about that.  Western Civilization is a little annoying, because it’s so dry, but the livescribe pen picks it up alright.  Public Speaking is awkward, but I suppose the skill will be useful.  Philosophy of Criminal investigation… well I hope it picks up.

My posts might be a little delayed, but no one really reads this anyway!

Geek commences the Semester.

Got up, worked out, showered, went to work, went and blew 600 on books, drove to school, studied, 3 hour health class, picked up pizza, got home.

What a kick.  I’m exausted.  Thinking I might have to increase weight for my workout however… for good.  Only going up.  10 to 15 lbs I think.  Livescribe pen worked wonders for recording my lecture and the corresponding notes.  Can’t help but feel like days are going to rush by this semester however. I’m drained.  Maybe that will change when my parents are around to… parent the siblings.

Can’t wait to go south. Or south west.  I need to get out of here. Until then, this Health class might actually help me quit smoking, and I have an Associates to get and bills to pay off.

A means to an end.  God be with me.

Rockabilly Sunday.

Alright!  Little more awake!  Maybe that’s because I slept a little over eight hours with limited interruption and worked out first thing.  I got the dishes done and cleaned up at least the kitchen.  No point in trying the living room, the youngins are positively entrenched.  Oh they’ll all scramble when Mommy and Daddy are inbound, but for now they dgaf.

It’s a headache, but for now I’m not letting it bother me.  I’m going to go out onto the balcony and smoke a cigarette, then come back in and write up a storm.  Haven’t kept to those goals I posted earlier, but I’m close I suppose.

Now stop thinking and enjoy the Stray Cats.

 

Resolution?

Okay, so leaving town before I get my degree would be foolish.  So I’ve decided I’ll leave NYS after Christmas of 2012.  I’ll be fit, educated and published and I can start a life wherever I want.  So far I’ve found interesting locations in Louisiana, California, Colorado, and North Carolina.  Save for Colorado, the common theme is south and on the coast.

I want to be able to appreciate the vastness of the ocean and the warm climate.  It should be fun.  Around here, I feel replaceable.  As if everyone will tell me what my next move is, and then get mad if I try to change that path without consulting them first.  It’s stupid!  If I have no legacy, I will be able to make my own. At least wherever it is I run off to.

Workout missed yesterday, got an N64 and Rogue Squadron.  Freakin’ Tie Fighters didn’t know what hit them.  Classic gaming, but it just means I’ll have to pick up another day tomorrow, then it’s class time on Monday.  Can I get another 4.0?  =]

Biting off more than I can chew?

Alright.  Went behind the back of my adviser and jumped myself from 16 credits to 18.  I also ditched Bio so that I can still work full time.  Replaced with anthropology and public speaking.  I’m not good at speaking to crowds, so I think that latter class will be the most useful.

I don’t have much to say tonight.  I’ve exhausted myself from being lonely and overdoing it maybe.  A good friend of mine made an accurate  statement when she said “I would suggest taking it easy, but my guess is that would be to no avail.”  I can’t stop.  I tried taking my evening off and shooting things on the computer but that didn’t even work.  My eyes burn and I can’t hardly focus on the page in front of me.  Am I emotionally burned out or just physically?   I don’t know.  I shouldn’t have even bothered saying anything.

Geek on SOPA.

They strike while the iron’s hot.  If the whole population isn’t completely plugged into the net, there’s still time to prevent negative influences (Such as, you know, the truth) from affecting the entire US.  You’ll express an opinion, be put on a federal list of potential terrorists and be your site will be shut off by the government.

If SOPA passes, we’ll all be doomed to further censorship.  I’m sorry, but I don’t like the idea of having a Chinese system of restrictions on my thoughts, learning and opinions.  Call your officials, fight back.  And if it passes, may those boys and girls at Anonymous crash the entire damn network around their ears.

 

Say no to SOPA.