Archive for the ‘Friends’ Category

I have a friend who turned 22 today.  We used to be more than friends, but I effectively blew that out of the water a little over nine months ago.  She’s out with her friends tonight, and having fun celebrating.  I’m happy for her, but I miss her something terrible, to tell you the truth.  Wish I could be there with her today, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m adjusting to my increased 20lb weights and my obliques are getting more defined.  I eat protein bars for dinner and three eggs minimum for breakfast.  I’m nailing down each of my classes effectively, even when I have to admit I don’t know everything the Criminal Investigation guy is talking about.  I’m adjusting my sleep pattern so that I can function effectively, and I spend most of my free time that’s not devoted to homework, (very little of it isn’t) I’m watching films while managing finances while brushing my teeth because I work out six days a week and seem to be more motivated than humanly possible.  My writing has fallen to the side, but it’ll pick back up.

But it doesn’t mean a thing when I’m this damn lonely.

Maybe I’ll write a letter.


Transcript of a true story I was asked to relate earlier today.

[4:59:50 PM] X: yooou shooould

[4:59:54 PM] X: tell me a story

[4:59:57 PM] X: about yourself
[5:00:42 PM] Geek: What kind of story??
[5:01:00 PM] X: something that you think illustrates your character
[5:01:20 PM] Geek: Doesn’t that constitute bragging? Bahahaha!
[5:01:32 PM] X: not in this case
[5:01:34 PM] X: I asked
[5:01:37 PM] X: go go go
[5:02:01 PM] Geek: Hmm…

[5:03:18 PM] Geek: Well there was this time I was hiking with B, my brother, and S.

[5:05:08 PM] Geek: So the three of us go out to the place called Hi Tor around here, even though a huge storm had just rolled through. It was still drizzling slightly the whole time up the mountain so we had focused on trying to keep warm and having fun. B was a little bitchy but I had my blood pumping so I was all “comeoncomeoncomeon let’s go!”

[5:08:08 PM] Geek: So we get to the top of the mountain and get to the part where the deer path leads down to the river that cuts through it to hike back down that way. We start going down, trying to keep as dry as possible, I gave B my shirt to wrap his camera in because he’s taking pictures as per usual. Everything else electronic we were dumb enough to bring I wrapped in my jacket and tucked it into my satchel. The water level is up but not exactly raging.

[5:09:55 PM] Geek: B wants to get home already so he’s on point. I’m behind him and S has the rear. We get to a small drop off about three feet or so down. it’s about four or five feet over to the nearest shale ledge (we’d been using the ledges to stay out of the actual river bed, again, dry as possible) B hands me his camera and drops down to get to the ledge.

[5:11:48 PM] Geek: A rock hits his foot, then another. He looks back expecting to be pissed off at one of us for chucking stuff at him. But that’s not the case. I look back and we’ve got stones and branches and all sorts of shit barelling down a flash flood from the storm that had just passed.

[5:13:48 PM] Geek: I immediately turn to set B’s camera on the ledge closest to me, but S is already shooting past me to grab B and pull him up. The water, which had been about a foot below us from our ledge, is rising quickly and starting to splash onto where we are standing. I told them the only thing that made sense. “Up.”

[5:17:02 PM] Geek: S got up first, I handed B his camera and he went up next. The wall we climbed was pure shale with the occasional root or deadfall in the way. The incline was around 30 – 45 degrees and we had no other way to go. We’d have fallen down going up or down the river. I made sure the others got up and then followed suit.

[5:21:08 PM] Geek: It was slow work getting up the wall, and keeping our footing. I made sure everyone broke into different directions so that people didn’t drop rocks on each others heads in the ascent. B broke far right to a rope that was left behind by other hikers ages ago doing God knows what. He ended up getting to it, gathering the rope and keeping it as a good luck charm. S went center and ended up catching onto deadfalls and such to get up. He slipped once and I thought for sure he was going to tumble, but he was second one up. I made it up third. got to the top just below a tree that was jutting out and pulled myself up vertically the last few feet.

[5:22:56 PM] Geek: We were fucking manic when we got to the top. S and I lit a couple of my “cowboy killers” as he so affectionately calls Marb reds. B took a group picture. It was one of the best days of that whole summer. We cheated death and worked as a team. I like being the first one into the situation and last one out. But it turns out the lot of us were more than capable of not getting killed by mother nature. =]

I have a full body hangover.  It ain’t my stomach or my head so much as my whole body.  The Power 90 has taken a toll on my shoulders and back and I’m feeling it alright.  I’m not really excited at the prospect of working out today. I never sleep in, and even more rarely do I not get up until 1pm.

I’m not being pissy.  I have people left and right telling me I’m being an ass right now when they want to get in my fucking face and complain about everything under the sun like it’s my fault. Insecurities and poor observations are not my fault.

Last night was fun though.  My best friend from Buffalo came down with his friend (V.) and Hippy joined us as well.  We sat around and played a friendly game of poker until midnight and then me and V. chatted well into the morning. It’s amazing when you meet someone with some commonsense in the world.  I swear I usually think the universe is just sucking the life and intelligence out of everyone and they let it.  It’s like some kind of weird cosmic mind control that only a few are privy to.

I’d like to say more, but I have to work out, shower, and write. I think the shower is the key component here. Happy New Years everyone!  Hope you feel better than this!

Escaped to Blo once more yesterday.  Party being thrown by my good friend, the same host as before.  In my book I call a character based off of him William.  Well Willy here throws a party and I come up to the city monday night.  I picked up the Cat and we proceeded to an earlier dinner invitation with Willy and three others at  his place.

As others started slowly trickling in I proceeded to get shit-faced beyond all recognition.  I don’t know why especially.  I don’t hardly drink anymore but me and another guy got two others to play us at beer pong and then I forgot how much whiskey goes into a glass and the equivalence of 8 shots later I was praying to the porcelain God.

It was a stupid thing to do, because I lost sight of those I was with.  Willy was playing host, The Cat was dancing around as she does and I puked my brains out through my stomach before midnight.  I met a few people I hadn’t seen in ages and they left before I could compose myself.  That was no good.  A couple of them were girls from high school that I used to be very close to, and it was a shame they saw me for the first time in ages as such a mess.

By midnight, with the help of vomiting constantly, sipping water and munching bread I was sober again.  A rather fascinating transition.  There were people who got tanked and were gone the whole night.  It almost feels like I willed myself into coherent thought.  Like something inside my head screamed for me to wake up and come back.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy having a couple drinks, but it’s that big brother complex, you know?

The folks here at work say the night was a failure because I didn’t hook up with some random broad.  I don’t know, but I’ve never been good with the whole “fuck and flee” mentality.  It’s sickening to think about.  There was so much going on, I love the kids there so much but I’d love them to use their brains as opposed to their genitals every once and a while.  Willy, One of the Kapi twins and I ended up driving people home, talking things out and taking care of people in perfect harmony.  It’s funny. One minute I’m mindlessly hammered and the next I’m giving rides home.

I think it’s okay to do that though.  It’s okay to have a little to drink but stay sober enough to watch out for people.  I didn’t hook up, I didn’t fuck off, I didn’t fight.  I’m okay with that.  I would like to have someone to hold my hand at least.  Give me a hug or fall asleep with me.  Appearently that’s very “gay” of me if the workplace is to be believed, but to hell with them.

Got up, Got Denny’s with Willy.  It was a good night and the morning wasn’t bad either.  Donnie Darko now.  ❤

Scientific? Logical?

Posted: December 19, 2011 in Friends
Tags: , , , , ,

“The Scientist” Cover by Willy Nelson.

A friend of mine once said very long ago that the song “The Scientist” by Coldplay reminded her of me.  I wonder how true that is.  I guess I’m logical, but my heart always beats harder than my mind can process.  I’m not really as much of a cold bastard as some of my old friends would say I am.  I’m supposedly selfish and self-serving. But I don’t know if I am or not.  I try to think of myself as a good guy.  But every chance I get to advance myself is met with hostility, never encouragement by these people.

I guess that means I’m moving out.  We were so close in High School, and only one of them seems to care anymore.  It’s all about the needs of them, and never mine.  This would be a selfish thing to say if it weren’t for the fact I’ve always done what they asked and helped them when they needed it.  It seems we’ve broken away save for the Exception.  He’s trying to advance too.  Trying to make something of himself.  He’s my boy, as I kept saying the other night.  I’m tired of being made to feel guilty for going my own way.

Maybe it’s not my City of Ice that’s sick.  Maybe it’s the city’s occupants.  Maybe I need to change the scenery myself, and shy away.  Maybe I need to get out of here and salvage what’s left of my own little family. Those who are worth having.  Guessing at numbers and figures here, aren’t I?  Time to write.  Goodnight, whoever you are.