Geek escapes the grind, (2)

Posted: December 18, 2011 in Experiences
Tags: , , , , , ,

Just got back from a party thrown by one of my closest friends.   There’s something about this city.  Something cold despite the desperate heat of the people in it.  Those who haven’t given up hope.  It’s 4am.  I can not sleep before writing this down, alcohol and nicotine be damned.  I have to put this forth, or it will eat me alive.

I arrived on Friday evening, met up with The Cat and proceeded directly to a hookah bar.  Not sure if it had a name, might have been “The Shisha Lounge”.  She introduced me to Ramses, one of the owners of the place.  He was chill as the lowest level of hell.  Pardon the simple sentences, I’m three sheets to the wind.  Screw Hemingway.  Ramses has a rap video he’ll be shooting today, and I’ll be sure to share it on here.  I learned different smoke tricks thanks to The Cat.  My breathing is hurried and sharp, but I only needed to know how to adjust my lips appropriately and calm down.  I’d really like to be calm all the time though.

After we got out of the lounge we went back to her place.  For what seemed like an age we talked about the whole everything and nothing that friends eventually pierce like a swollen bubble.  It pops clear and to the point, leaving residue to be dealt with afterwards.  And if left to dry, it’s always such a mess.  I watched her pet Tarantula crawl up her leg and wasn’t afraid.  Not that I have a problem with spiders, but this one was huge.  And docile just like we were.

She showed me how she danced and hula hooped.  I was somehow torn between her and the bookshelf full of literary classics to the left of the doorway in which I was leaning.  She ended up catching my interest more though, and maybe that’s because we who are so rigid are more enchanted by that which we will never really achieve.  The free and the unconditional.  There’s always a condition for people like me.  We made crepes and then went are separate ways to sleep.

She touched my shoulder to let me know she was going to work.  In the chaos of a dream my hand twisted and shot out to grab hers, but was much too slow.  She insisted I move to her room where I’d be more comfortable.  In my haze I accepted.  Slept until 10:30 maybe?

Showered, went out to drive the old streets I used to feel like I owned.   Mr. Ralphie called me up, the only other person I’d told I was in town, and we had breakfast at a local diner.  We went to the mall, and then she got out of work and met up with us at Mr. Ralphie’s house.  He had to go to work, so she and I shot back over to the mall so she could do some shopping.  She insisted afterwards that we drop off my car back at her place so we could drive together.  After numerous more hours at the hookah bar, we went over to Mr. Ralphie’s in the dead of night for his little party.

It’s funny, I can’t remember ever having been so comfortable when I only knew 3/7 people there.  I didn’t hate anyone, and it’s a blessing because I think I hate because I’m scared and I wasn’t scared then.  Not amongst them.  We drank, we danced, me and Mr. Ralphie wrestled like Olympians and I exchanged incite with strangers to a fascinating degree.  And of course… she danced.

It’s enchanting to watch you know.  I don’t want another relationship where I’ll just blow things to high heaven, but my heart did beat quicker.  It was the dance, like fire in the 18 degree and below weather.  Not sexual.  Sensual maybe.  I wasn’t drawn by an urge to get laid, like every other tool and bro.  I was drawn by the dance, like a moth to that same blaze.  I want to get to know her but to come near her like any other boy would be blasphemous.  I didn’t want to touch for fear the fire would be too hot.  It wouldn’t be right.  I knew that.  Relaxed as I was.

How many times to you see some sorry sob crying at a party where he should be having fun because of a woman?  Because he wants to be with here and he never will be.  I didn’t feel that because I’m a logical little nerd.  A heartless fool with no motivations in the land of love because he knows he’s bound for ruin.  I wasn’t like this.  I was contended with my enchantment and yet had to get all of this out as soon as possible.  The horrible light of dawn will be breaking in the sky at anytime.  But I have to write it.  To limit a friendship this amazing to the constraints of relationship would be not only stupid, but foolish to the Nth degree.  But I know who to see when I come out here now.  There’s a pleasant air about this weekend, like unnaturally warm spring gusts.

She gave me a story idea.  I’ll get it done over this break, mind you.  A worrisome mess of ideas flowing here and there like so many cracks in the ice of this city.  I can’t wait to write it.  But I can’t wait to turn the page here either.  I want to know what happens next.  How close can a monster of ice get when studying such finesse and skill?  Such fire.  I am so curious, but I wouldn’t dare touch it.


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