The Beginning.

Posted: December 5, 2011 in On Geek, Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

I feel like shit run over twice.  If I’m not doing something productive, I have a tendency to feel like that.  I’m a student of Criminal Justice at Finger Lakes Community college, but I intend to change my major to international studies when I transfer to a four year school (maybe out of state!)  My adviser advised that move.  He says that there aren’t really any jobs in the criminal justice field anymore.  Not exactly reassuring when you’ve just completed the civil service exam for the local PD.

I need to set a goal finally.  It’s kind of the reason I started this quaint little blog in the first place.  I had a goal to be a soldier once.  My father is an accomplished West Pointer and I decided to enter the Marines straight out of high school when I graduated from Amherst Central High School in 2009.  I left July 13th, my oldest little brother’s birthday.  I was back in the Finger Lakes on September 1st.  Medical reasons.  They told me I had a heart condition that could kill me before I ever got my globe and anchor.  Professional Cardiologist’s opinion after the fact?  Diagnosis BOGUS.  It took almost two years to get my head on straight after that.  I spent a lot of time drinking, picked up smoking Marlboro cigarettes  got in fights and ruined a relationship that was almost two years old.

I’m kicking the smokes rather effectively, and I’m starting the Power 90 exercise program tomorrow, But the wasted time can never be given back.  Guess I’ll have to work twice as hard then.  I moved out of the city of Buffalo where I ruined myself as concubine, brawler and drunkard and back to my enchanted Finger Lakes region.  Sobered up too.  For the most part.  I don’t think God would begrudge a lad the occasional drink during a game of Poker… or when I’m feeling nerdy, RISK.

I don’t really get an opportunity to hang out much. And when the opportunity to do so arises, you can trust the Geek to have an excuse as to why he can’t.  The reason for that is questionable.  The attitudes of people disgust me I think.  With most of my peers it seems to be the immediate priority to get high, get shitfaced, or get laid at all costs.  And then they try to explain to me how it’s alright, profound and even enlightening!  I tend to disagree.  Another reason for my reluctance is probably some degree of social anxiety.  I don’t feel comfortable around other people for too long.  It’s just how I feel.  Lame excuse, I know.

This is a lot of crap for a first post, but I think it’s necessary to let the reader in on how the deck is stacked best as I can. The things that make me happy are having someone to love, reading Stephen King, seeing new places, horror movies, and writing.  I’m pretty good with languages, but not yet fluent in any of them.  I think I’ll start with Spanish and work my way to Farsi.  The sources of this perpetual slump I’m in are lack of direction, wanderlust and a broken heart.  All of which I think I can change.  It won’t be long now.  I’ll keep you updated as best I can.    For now, I’m going to try and get some sleep and finish watching Pet Semetary.  It’s gotta be one of my favorite movies.  Also, Stephen King plays the priest at the wash lady’s funeral.  Goodnight.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s